5 Arguments Against Homeschooling (And Why They Don't Matter)

You’ve probably heard them all, many times, and from many mouths. Well-meaning (or sometimes not) folks voicing their concerns about your decision to homeschool your children. You may have even given some of them pause during your own decision-making process. I know I did. What I found, however, was that the arguments against homeschooling I heard most often weren’t even the most important ones.

Let’s begin with one of the most common:

1. Homeschooling Shelters Your Child From Experiencing “The Real World.”

I wanted to start with this one because I felt it was the easiest to dismiss. I don’t know what “real world” is being referred to here, but I don’t think I’m part of it. I actually had a pretty positive public school experience but I fail to see how any of the activities that made up my normal day prepared me for the world I live in now. Homeschooling, in my opinion, largely has the “real world” upper hand. Most homeschooled children spend a great deal of time engaging in the actual real world while their traditionally schooled counterparts spend their days in a fairly controlled and isolated environment. Simply put, this argument is too vague to hold any weight in decision-making one way or another.

2. Children NEED to Learn How to Deal with Bullies

Man, oh man, I hate this one. Children do not learn how to “deal with bullies” because they go to a traditional school. Often the opposite is true. I worked with elementary-aged children for fifteen years and in all that time, listening to their experiences and frustrations and their parent’s experiences and frustrations, I can’t recall a single moment where the child “learned how to deal with” a bully. Sometimes they learned that they had better not fight back because they, too, will get kicked out of school. Sometimes they learned that the adults in charge felt they had to look the other way. Occasionally they learned that an adult could fix the problem. But mostly they learned to be hurt and feel badly about themselves. I realize that we all have rights of passage when it comes to our peers, and homeschooling can’t “protect” your child from experiencing them someday down the road. But this argument is ridiculous. Children can’t learn how to deal with bullies, but they can learn how to walk tall, be kind to others, and have faith in their own self-worth. And do you know where they learn that, no matter where they go to school? Parents, family members, loved ones, community leaders, and mentors (and sometimes, yes, a teacher.) Going to school does not give you some kind of bully-proof shield upon graduation.

3. The Structure of a Traditional Classroom is What a Child Needs in Order to Thrive

You know what? Some kids do thrive in the traditional classroom structure. Many don’t. Some kids learn the system very quickly, what is expected, and how to find the resources and tools they need. Many don’t. Some kids get exactly what they need within the walls of a traditional classroom. Many don’t. All children are not the same, not all children thrive under the same conditions. Otherwise, every single child who went through a traditional school system would be “thriving” right now, doing something they absolutely loved. Guess what? Many don’t. Education is not a one-size-fits-all equation. A blanket statement like this doesn’t actually support either side because it’s simply not true.

4. Parents Trying to Balance Homeschooling and Other Responsibilities Might Become Overwhelmed

Yes, yes they might. Just as a teacher trying to balance a classroom stuffed to the gills and standardized testing demands and administrative pressure might become overwhelmed. People who take on the role of a teacher, whether they are a parent or an educator in a school, usually understand that it’s not for the faint of heart. They usually approach this decision knowing that it’s going to be difficult at times, that they are going to have doubts and pressures and moments of frustration. The education of a child (whether it’s one child or a roomful of them) is the most precious and important task. No one expects it to be effortless. They expect to break a sweat.

5. Without School, How Will Your Child Ever Become Socialized??

I’m sure this is your favorite one, am I right? But seriously, it comes up a lot. My oldest is quite social and absolutely loves any opportunity to engage in play or conversation with anyone (ANYONE) she comes across. So I make it a point to give her lots of opportunities to do so. Homeschoolers have so many ways to provide opportunities to socialize for their child. Co-ops, dance class, science and sports clubs, play groups, community service organizations, religious groups, neighborhood friends, family gatherings, meet-ups… I could go on. The fact is, homeschooled children have plenty of opportunities for socialization with people of all ages. Let’s refer back to argument number one. Which one looks more like the real world to you? Spending all your days with only people born within a year of you, or with people of all ages from all walks of life? Not only that, but this argument, which is usually the first to pop up in conversations around homeschooling, makes it look as if we built our whole school system around the need to socialize, not educate, our children. And that’s simply not true.

There are legitimate arguments around the decision to homeschool your children and they should be (and usually are) considered seriously when making this choice. But none of these arguments fit that description. And here’s the bottom line:

Whether it means sending your child to a traditional school or homeschooling them at home, you the parent (or guardian), are the one charged with providing the best possible education for your child. And that is your choice to make. No argument based on fear or lack of understanding should hold weight in your decision, one way or the other. For most of us, the decision to homeschool started with a strong instinct about what road we wanted to pave for our child, and was followed by a lot of research and consideration. Yes, we hear these arguments come up. But they do not matter. All that matters is that you continue to give your child your best, and make decisions that are optimal for your family and your values.

What was your number-one biggest reason in favor of choosing homeschool for your child? Please share in the comments below.